Tonight I listened, tears streaming down my face, as Tracy was talking about his wife. She had a disease that would cause her to have seizures.
It was about a year ago that I was at the B and walking through the narrow hall outside the bathroom when I heard that Tracy left. He was supposed to speak that night. I found out soon after that his wife was having a seizure. His kids had called.
As we gathered in the library, Braydn said, "that's his bride..." I couldn't even imagine what was going through his head as he drove that 20 minutes to get to his house...to his bride. I couldn't imagine it then and I can't imagine it now.
I have been lucky enough to not have had to experience diseases or death in my family. There was a scare last December when my sister had some alarming test results but thankfully, it was not cancer. I was born after my grandfather's died so I never knew them. Both my grandmothers, though frail, are still alive.
Tonight I came back to my room, with the intention of finishing up some homework. I looked at my answering machine, hoping for a blinky light and indeed, there was. I wondered who would have called me since I just left all my friends. I thought it was dad or home calling.
It was Nicole.
Nicole and I have been friends for about 3 years. The moment we met, we hit if off really well. Though she's a bit older than I, we were kindred. About 6 months after we met, Nicole and I had a great conversation on AIM about how she wanted to know God more. She felt that in her desperation, she knew that God loved her. We spent that summer in Bible study and late night conversations about dealing with hurt and pain. Nicole called us her angels and I was truly honored. More so, I was amazed at how at the beginning of that summer, I had it upon my heart to pray for her and God proved faithful as He brought her to himself.
Our friendship grew! From working together, to movies, to eating alot at fancy restaurants that she knew of, we spent life together. I even got to meet her brother, Billy.
Billy moved to Charlotte about a year ago I'm guessing. Their whole family is from Long Island. When I first met Billy, I was tickled by his eyes. They were so blue and very mischievous. It proved to give alot of his personality away. Billy was always happy and always had alot of fun no matter where he was. He talked alot! but that was part of the Billy experience.
I remember shortly after a sad time in my life, Billy was there to cheer me up. In his sporty car, the three of us went out for dinner and saw the sunset together. Billy was always the gentlemen, buying my movie tickets or my drinks and snacks at the theater. At my birthday dinner, he was sweet enough to come even though he didn't know anyone and honestly, why would a 33 year old want to hang out with a bunch of college kids? But still, he came.
I remember when Billy bought his motorcycle, he was so proud. He would tell me when and where he went riding. Just a couple of weeks ago, he fell in the parking lot because of a tire problem. I told him that whenever I saw motorcyclists now, I'd be looking to see if it was him. I never did see him though.
2 weeks ago, I was home in Charlotte and got to see both Nicole and Billy. We went out for a movie and of course, Billy bought my ticket. We had popcorn throwing during the movie, blaming each other for the noise and such. He would look over at the corny parts of the movie to see my reaction...I'd smile back. That night I had my first bar experience. We even took this picture to prove it. I thought we were going to a restaurant but it ended up being a bar through some miscommunication.
The night was filled with ambition as the boys were trying to find a guy for me even though I protested, being in a bar and all, but we had fun nonetheless. Then a guy proposed to his girlfriend at the pool table and that really made my night special.
I joked with Billy asking him when he was going to get married. He was after all, 33. He said he wasn't in a rush and that people in the South seem to be in a hurry to get married. I was sincerely wanting him to get married because he was such a great guy. He could make anyone laugh and anyone feel comfortable. As weird as I felt at a bar, he made it easier by standing with me and joking with me, choosing guys for me...it was a hilarious time. I told him that he was the brother I never had, when we sat down, he replied "...and didn't want." That was so like him, to put himself down not realizing how great he really was.
That night, Billy met someone and they hit it off pretty well. She was a friend of a friend's. We teased him the whole time. But he was happy. And I knew that even if he had not met her, he would have been happy. That's just the way he was, always in his Green Converse All Star high tops, smiling with shining blue eyes.
Tonight, as I heard Nicole's message, "Rachel, it's Nicole, I have some bad news, Please call me back," my heart sank. At best I thought it was her pet that died, at worst, an accident.
I called her, sitting down mouthing "O Lord, please" as the dialing tone paced my heart. Nicole picked up. I asked her what was wrong. She replied,
"Rachel, Billy died last night"
