To know Him alone

Tonight, I spent two incredible hours with amazing girls who love God. And not just those who say they do or are "religious" but girls who's eyes sparkle when they talk about the word, girls who are not afraid to cry as they share their brokenness for the lost, girls who are not afraid to do something radical for God like going to Uganda for a semester or having the courage to break off relationships that are unhealthy or even have the courage to say "I'm not ready" after an amazing time with a Godly man. Tonight, I was inspired. Why can't all days be like this?

Tonight I learned what it means to be "spoiled by God." Tonight I learned what it means to be faithful in prayer and with holding on to God, no matter how tempting the easy way out is. Tonight, I learned about compassion, I learned that beauty lies in having just candlelight and talking to friends, tonight I learned healing.

Last week, I read parts of Nehemiah and God allowed me to see how building the wall of Jerusalem is much like the healing of our hearts. Whenever we do something for God, attacks come alongside and this is true for my heart. Everyday is a battle. However, God teaches us to humble ourselves and ask for help. Nehemiah had to ask for help from those who lived in the city, so that they could build the wall together. Friends and relationships are so crucial in our lives. They allow God to be exemplified, they allow God to be glorified, they allow God to move. And finally, healing takes place slowly and in its turn. I often get impatient with my heart, wanting it to be healed right away. The desire to be whole pulls my heart to the point of exhaustion. It is then when I realize that each hurt needs its own time and each broken part of our hearts need complete healing before another can begin. Just as the Jews were assigned one part of the wall to build and able to claim ownership over that part, so we are healed one part at a time.

God is amazing.

Each day, I feel tired after my Revelation and Apocalyptic Literature class. I feel so down from reading passages about the Apocalypse and all that people had to say about those who were saved and unsaved. I feel worn out from picturing the horrors that some will face. I just want to God for who He is and not worry about what is going to happen to me or my life. Why can't people just be still and stop the war? stop the fighting? stop the theological arguments. I am tired of listening. I am tired of it all.

I just want to know Him.

I want to know Him like I did tonight in the eyes of those girls, in the words that they spoke, the wisdom that they shared.

"Failure is only when you repeat your mistakes"

"Prayer is good"

"God spoiled me this weekend. We sat for 8 hours and fished. I was liked for who I am, hands and nose and everything"